We've Never Met
by JessicaJooney
Summary: What can you do when the person you've know forever, told everything to, the person you thought was your best friend, has been lying to you? What do you do when you discover that they're not who you thought they were?    a/n: not blofsky
1. Prolouge

_a/n: YAY first Klaine fan fic is UP! Except there isn't much Klaine but, oh, well :P I'm too excited to care. Big thanks go to mrs. graciecriss4eva because she is awesome and extremely helpful and just great fun. I don't think she's posted anything yet but she will soon. And if she has then that's a testament to how long it took me to actuarially post this. So thanks for reading, because if you bother to read this then I guess you'll read the story, won't you?_

_Disclaimer: I wish. That would be so cool... for me. The rest of you would get board pretty quickly._

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><p><strong>Congratulations <strong>Blaine Anderson!

**A pen pal has been selected for you on ePenPal****.net****!**

**Please login ****here**** now to message your new pen pal!**

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><p>Blaine stared at the email in awe. Finally, after begging and pleading with his parents, he had an account. Being one of the closest things to social media, ten year olds like him, were allowed to be on, it was the newest 'cool' website in his grade. His parents hadn't trusted it but after a talk with the teacher who highlighted all of its good qualities ("writing letters like that can be very good for spelling and grammar skills, as well as speed typing") and explained its safety precautions ("it is actually impossible for anyone on a setting or under the age of thirteen to give out information such as addresses, phone numbers, or even surnames") they had agreed and now, well, now he had someone new to talk to, someone he'd never met before. He just knew they'd become best friends and have everything in common; he'd be able to discuss his favorite bands and complain about the chords he was having trouble with.<p>

He'd read though all the websites instructions and made his plans. He wanted to be like one of the people he had heard about: still friends with his pen pal in forty years or more, still owning all his original letters. There'd been a flaw in his plan when he'd discovered that the website deleted eLetters from the system after six months, but he'd decided that once a week he would print all the last weeks' eLetters and keep them in a scrapbook he had ready.

He could see this happening and butterflies were filling his stomach as he followed the link, logged in and made his way to his message pane where a notice popped up. '**You have on eLetter from** **your ePenPal **Car of Sky.'

Excitement mounting, he opened the file, and read the message hungrily. Smiling he began to type a response, this was going to be fun, he just knew it. He was going to make this friendship work. Glancing back at the message he received, he read it quickly once again letting his happiness overflow. For the first time ever, Blaine Anderson was going to have a real friend.

The click of his fingers on the key, pausing for a moment as he made a quite pact with a boy he'd never met before and probably never would.

"Deal" he muttered.

* * *

><p>Hello that's_not_a_name,<p>

I'm Car of Sky, but my real name is Dave. I live in America but I think it would be more fun if we didn't know more than a country about where we live because I like the idea that you could be anywhere or anyone and I wouldn't know it. I also think it would be cool if all we knew about each other was stuff we told each other. I'm not going to make you tell me things you don't want to but at least could we please be truthful with each other? Always?

I don't know what you're going to think of this but I just get the feeling we're going to be good friends. Can we make a deal? Whatever we tell each other is a secret. We'll never tell anyone else about it, even insignificant stuff. If you disagree with this then I don't think we can be friends because that's what friends do, so there. I've always wanted a friend like this, a friend I could trust and I hope you'll become one.

I just realized that this is a very long first letter and I haven't even told you anything about me yet. So I'd better stop now. I'll wait for you to reply. I can't wait to hear from you.

Dave.

Ps – what's with the name?

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><p><em>an: So there it is. I know it's not cannon, but I'll try to keep it as close as possible. Please reveiw, because I'd like to know what you thought._


	2. Chapter 1

_a/n: YAY chapter 1. Thanks again to mrs. graciecriss4eva and thanks to you for reading, if you've never posted anything you don't know how great it is when people read it. :)_

_disclaimer: seriously? As if anyone would let me..._

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><p>Hey,<p>

What's going on at school? I've got around five tests and six quizzes this week and I should be studying right now but I've been so stressed recently that I know all my 'letters' have been mega short but I can't find time to write something properly. I seem to be balancing that slightly by sending far too many.

What is with football right now? This is so a set up. How can Akron be ahead of the Buckeyes? It's lunacy! At the rate things are going I could probably sign up for a team myself and win every game while Tom Brady quit because he was tired of getting muddy. Ugh. It's so messed up.

Anyway, now I've had a chance to get that out of my system, how are things going? We know each other well enough that I feel like I can say this without being pushy, have you told anyone else yet? You need to tell someone, I can tell from the way you WRITE that this is eating you alive. You told me that it felt better for a bit once I knew so why don't you take another chance? I know that we both know you are going to get mixed responses and a lot of prejudice once you come out but there will be people who won't see you differently, and the ones who do don't deserve to be your friend. Please tell someone.

Blaine.

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><p>Blaine smiled as he sent the letter. Throughout the last few years, writing to Dave had been his life line. Well after any other kids he knew had given it up, they'd still be writing at least weekly letters to each other. Dave was his first real friend and he'd told him everything. He was a link to a real, down to earth person when he'd had to move schools; he'd been the first person he'd told about his bullying and, for months, the only. He'd felt like he could tell that sort of stuff without Dave somehow putting the blame on him. And before then, when he figured he was gay, Dave had been the first person he'd told. At that point they'd been friends for about three years and he'd stressed for nights about how he'd write it, what he'd say. Then when he sent it, he hadn't been able to sleep or focus in school the next day until he got a response. But Dave had said exactly what he had wished everyone would say, and his response had given him courage to tell his parents, although two months later.<p>

He could confide anything in Dave and he felt safe. He felt like they knew everything about each other, except for the few details they weren't allowed to. So he knew exactly how Dave felt about his parents, particularly his dad, but not what state he lived in; he knew his weekly homework but not his last name; he had no idea what school he went to, but he knew that wherever he went, homophobia was running rampant. And though he had no idea what he looked like, he knew he was gay as well and too scared to tell people. But Blaine was sure that it would be better if he did; if he let himself be himself.

Of course, neither Blaine nor Dave had very good experiences with the idea of coming out. Blaine had his own past: constant torment and bullying, both physical and verbal, followed by running away; and Dave watched everyday as the one out gay guy at his school was treated like he wasn't human. But at least they had places they belonged, for Blaine it was Dalton, for this boy the school Glee club. Dave belonged on the football team and with his group of friends, all of whom were jocks, and was certain that if he came out they would all abandon him. There was no easy option and it was hard telling him to tell people because the more he said it the more it sounded like he wasn't trying to understand Dave. Sometimes he felt like he wasn't telling him everything, like there was more, but he trusted Dave and that was all he could do.

He'd had three other ePenPals while he had Dave, and as the computer paired you up based on the profile you made, they'd been pretty good fits. One, an older guy from New Zealand, was a huge help. He was also gay and a great mentor, but after just over a year he gave up on the website to focus on his job. The one before that was a girl from Washington who he'd been sorry to abandon. She'd been nice but he'd never felt as safe with her as Dave and, when he was working through the idea he could be gay it had been too hard to keep up with her. The last had been a failed attempt, a boy called John who'd been ready to state opinion on any matter well before he knew anything about it. Blaine had gotten angry at him pretty quickly; after about ten letters in a week trying to help him think about his views he'd left an angry letter and removed him from his 'eAddress list'. But he'd stayed with Dave since day one.

Heading towards the cafeteria, about to turn off his phone, Blaine noticed a text from Wes.

**URGENT WARBLER MEETING**

**BE THERE OR DIE!**

Laughing quietly at the message, he still changed direction and sped up; you didn't want to be late for Wes. He received no less than five of these messages in the three minutes it took to reach the practice room, but was only given a glare upon arrival, as he was a few minutes early. Settling into his usual seat, he watched the 'late' Warblers receive their varied punishments (from standing one legged for two minutes for each half-minute they were late, to sitting in the uncomfortable chairs, to getting no solos for a month) with shock on their faces as they stared at the clock that pronounced there was still one minute until time.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

Blaine was enjoying a standard 'Urgent Warbler Meeting'. David and Wes, deciding that they weren't practising performing enough, had scheduled an 'impromptu' performance for tomorrow. Now they were going over the basic science of part singing, giving him a chance to relax in the knowledge that he didn't need to be doing anything. Glancing down at his phone out of habit, he noticed Dave had sent him a 'letter'. 'Opening' the bad graphic of an envelope he read through the message. Staring at his phone in confusion Blaine stood up, to the surprise of his fellow Warblers.

"Junior Warbler Blaine!" David called, more in confusion than anger.

"I have to go."

"But this is important! We need to rehearse our harmonies, choreography and performance technique before tomorrow's..." but he was cut off by Blaine, waving the hand that wasn't holding the phone in an extremely distracted and 'leave me alone, fly' manner, and muttering, "yeah, yeah. Impromptu performance here tomorrow lunch, teenage dream, step click, three parts, don't spread the word until after practice then. I've got it."

And still waving, still staring at his phone, he left.

Once outside he made his way to his dorm room, reading and re-reading Dave's cryptic message over and over, trying to plot the best possible response to something so general and ill-boding. Running his hand through his hair he huffed in frustration. For once he'd just like to talk to Dave face to face.

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><p>I need to tell you something.<p>

But I need to know you'll try to understand.

If you don't trust me please tell me now.

I need to talk this through with someone.

Reply.

Please.

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><p><em>an: In my world, people who read rock! So keep rocking guys!_


	3. Chapter 2

_a/n: So pretty much I'm far too happy for my own good. But term is now OVER, I have three weeks of holidays to look forward to, I just had a yummy afternoon tea _reminiscent _of being a little kid (fishfingers, soggy because they were microwaved, with tomato sauce and a glass of orange juice and soda) and am about to read fanfiction and paint my fingernails. Life is fun. So here is the next not-very-fun chapter. :P_

_Disclaimer: List of things I don't own: a chocolate bar, a car, a driver's licence, yellow nail polish, Glee... this list is too long. *sigh* my list of stuff I DO own would be much shorter..._

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><p>Please tell me what's going on.<p>

Please.

Blaine.

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><p>Blaine sent the message before falling back on his bed. His luminescent clock read 1:07, while outside the clear night flooded Dalton's grounds with moonlight. Trying to relax he thought through the previous day's highlights, hoping to erase the huge shadow that had covered him since he last received a message from Dave. The cryptic message that he had been trying to avoid thinking about, or the lack of follow on from Dave that he was having trouble not reading into.<p>

But what if something had gone wrong? What if he'd come out to his parents who'd gotten angry and also somehow found out he had a gay friend who'd helped him come to terms with himself and banned him from communicating with him. What if bullies had beaten him up and he was lying in a gutter somewhere needing help? What if he'd given up on Blaine? Decided it was too hard being friends with a guy you only knew online. What if... the possibilities were endless.

Pulling himself away from a train of thought he'd followed far too many times, he focused on yesterday.

The 'impromptu' performance was scheduled so they'd had Warbler Practice in the morning. He'd been unfocused at the start, tired from staying up too late thinking, but singing had got him more normal in no time. He'd felt almost happy when he'd left for class but then he'd checked his phone and found no message from Dave.

He was distracted though class, scribbling instead of taking notes, and when he was focused by the bell he realised he'd written **What Happened? **in large letters on the page and gone over each stroke so many times and so hard he could read it on the next five pages.

He was late to his next class. He liked the teacher so he tried to focus, but as he rushed to leave after the bell he noticed his notes were split by comments that must have been based on his thoughts. He was partway through copying his notes again, this time without the internal debate, when he remembered the performance.

Rushing down a corridor he'd reached the foyer's stairs. Almost tripping down them in his haste, he hadn't notice anything odd until a confused voice called out, "excuse me." Trying not to look annoyed he'd turned to make some excuse, before noticing what no one else had: there was a random guy, not in uniform, on the stair case. This wouldn't have been weird except for Dalton's strict "no visiting during school hours" policy for families. Anyway, this boy looked like he was no older than Blaine himself and should probably be in school.

The guy had gone on "um, hi, can I ask you a question? I'm new here." Blaine hadn't let it show but he'd known that was an obvious lie. There was no way a new student would be left to 'fend for themselves' partway through the day. So now he knew that this boy had something to hide. He shook his hand and introduced himself. There'd been no way he was letting that mystery boy go: he'd gotten too curious.

"My name's Blaine."

"Kurt."

So then the boy had had a name. Kurt. Well, he'd decided to play along with Kurt's charade for a while.

"So what exactly is going on?"

Smiling and getting into his oblivious character, Blaine had replied with almost real happiness and enthusiasm. "The Warblers! Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons. It tends to shut the school down for a while."

He'd been surprised at how much better he'd felt when he pretended to be happy; he almost hadn't been acting anymore. It had helped that, when he though back on it, Kurt had been gorgeous. But what had got him at the time was his real and open curiosity. He was definitely lying about why he was here but everything else seemed to be honest emotion. Especially his next comment.

"So, wait, the Glee club here is kind of cool?"

"The Warblers are like rock stars." He wasn't sure where that line had come from, but it had had the desired effect as Kurt looked reasonably shocked. He had stopped acting by then, and had been feeling better than he had all day; better than he had for a while.

"Come on. I know a short cut."

Well. Maybe he'd been a bit over the top when he'd grabbed Kurt's hand and led him to the Senior Commons, but he'd enjoyed it and he'd almost thought Kurt had too. And he'd definitely been having too much fun when he responded to Kurt's comment on sticking out, but he'd had a horrid day and this was suddenly making up for it.

So they'd sung their 'impromptu' song and performed perfectly, and he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off Kurt the entire time. He couldn't help thinking that he'd been right when he'd said he stood out. He was like a light. Blaine felt better around him.

He'd almost lost him after the performance but had caught him as he'd been leaving and, had motioned Wes and David over to talk with him.

Well that had been a tough conversation. He'd felt, for the first time, like he was opening himself up to someone, anyone, who wasn't Dave. And that had scared him. What if Kurt didn't feel like that? What if he laughed? But he hadn't been doing it for him. He'd been doing it for Kurt. And that had given him courage. And Kurt's response, like that was just what he needed just then, was so uplifting despite their topic of conversation. He felt like, for the first time, someone really got it. Got him. Got his experiences. And he felt like Kurt was going through the same moment of hope. Of peace. And for the first time that day, he'd though of Dave happily. "He should hear Kurt's story," he'd thought. And, after Kurt had gone, he'd reached for his phone to tell him when he saw the notice. The same one he'd seen all day but it still hurt.

**eMailBox is empty.**

And now, so much later, that hope was a distant memory, because his eMailBox was still empty and Dave was still silent.

Getting comfortable in his bed he tried to sleep, but he was too nervous that he'd miss the letter. Somehow, he'd persuaded himself that if he replied as soon as he got the message, then Dave would understand that their friendship was important to him. So he brought his phone right up to his face and, still prepared to sleep, lay in bed watching it. Eventually, around 3am he fell asleep, too tired to fight it any more. And around 2:30am he finally got a response.

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><p>Blaine.<p>

You've said you'll trust me. You've said you'll understand. And I have to tell you. I have to tell you now before I lose my nerve. You know everything else about me but I've held off telling you this because I don't want to lose your friendship. After hearing this, I think a lot of things about me will make more sense. And whatever you do after that, you must read all the way to the end.

You see, the thing you don't know about my school, the thing I'm scared you'll never understand about me, is that **I** am one of _them_. **I **push people into lockers, throw them into dumpsters, slushy them, and sometimes beat them up because they are different. **I** make the life of the one out gay guy at my school hell. It started well before gay meant anything personal, when he was different because he liked to sing and dance and look good. When it first became a way of holding popularity. The only way I knew how. And then, when it did, there was always this innermost part of me that had a voice like my dad's that said _"That could be you. If you come out, if you show weakness, that __**will**__ be you_" as if I could scare the gay out of me.

Then when I read your letters, when I write to you I feel calm. I can be me and that is normal. That we're gay is just a fact that is no more or less important than any other, and I can feel confident. I go away from reading you're emails thinking _"yes. I __**will**__ tell mum and dad today. This will be fine"_ but as soon as I'm back at school any tiny negative thought grows and I end up feeling so confused I want to hit something. Throw something. Transfer my pain onto anyone else. And you could be a better target than the gay kid I, when I stop to think about it, envy? Sure, school is crap for him, but he's going to be someone one day. His father doesn't care that he's gay and cares about how he's treated at school. He has friends the he isn't scared will stab him in the back. Who don't care that he isn't popular because they aren't either.

When I see their Glee club I recognise how much I want to be in a group like that. It isn't the singing or dancing, it's the community. They are all so different and stick up for each other. I want to be part of a group like that. But if I even suggest joining, they never would have accepted me and the guys I hang out with would have shunned me. I would have been alone. And that is the thing I most fear.

I can't be alone.

Please don't abandon me.

Dave.

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><p><em>an: ohhhh, semi-cliffhanger! I like knowing stuff you don't. :)_


	4. Chapter 3

_a/n: as I said last chapter, I'm really happy right now. I'm one coat through my nail polish and I have rainbow-ized it and it is prettyful and yes, I know I sound five years old. Here's another chapter! Thanks to mrs. graciecriss4eva for making me feel better about the amount of _dialogue_. Because I hate it. _

_Disclaimer: I thought of another thing to add to my 'stuff I don't own' list: Darren Criss. And I can't choose that would be cool or creepy. So yeah, I don't own Glee._

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><p>Hey,<p>

This matters to me, I really need to know what's wrong so that I can understand- Sorry, I only just realised I have an eLetter from you. I'm going to go read that now, ok.

Bye.

* * *

><p>Engrossed in the eLetter he'd woken up to find, Blaine took no notice of David leaning over his shoulder.<p>

David, along with Wes and all the other Warblers, had been worried about his current change of mood. He'd been so…, happy wasn't the right word for it, but was the closest they could come, until about two days ago when he'd run out of Warbler practice. Then he'd seemed shocked, after that he'd been distracted, nervous and generally tense and had checked his phone every minute. The only break in this had been when he'd met Kurt. Suddenly he'd gone from the down-at-the-bottom-of-an-endless-pit Blaine of sadness to a so-light-and-free-I-could-fly Blaine they'd never seen before. Sure, he'd been concerned for Kurt when he told his story, but until then he'd been crazily happy.

They'd been midway through thinking "at least he's crazily happy not crazily sad" when Kurt had left, Blaine had checked his phone, and he was down-at-the-bottom-of-an-endless-pit Blaine again. Now he was shocked beyond the point of last time, staring at his phone like he couldn't believe what it was telling him and re-reading whatever it said over and over again. So, like any good roommate, David had carefully leant over Blaine's shoulder and was attempting to read what he was. Seeing as this was Blaine and he knew Blaine pretty well, he noticed, as he leant that his expression had gone from the stunned-shock-with-mouth-unhinged-and-eyes-flicking-over-the-thing-he's-reading-over-and-over-again that he knew meant "I DON'T BELEIVE THIS" (he'd worn a similar expression when he'd read Dumbledore's death scene) to the moth-open-arms-tense-deep-breath-eyes-closed-angry-hurt expression that meant "I'm about to show this through the loud projection of my voice in a completely non-musical way that will make your ears hurt and I'm probably not even going to notice if your hear." The few times this had happened before, David had always run to get Wes so they could try to calm him down. But in those situations he'd known why he was so angry, now it was a mystery and he couldn't bear to leave without knowing why.

But he still didn't want to get hurt so he took the precaution of dashing to the other side of the room and sitting on his bed at the point where it met the corner of the wall. Because when Blaine got this emotional, things got wrecked.

He was just in time, as mere seconds later Blaine exploded.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU 'DON'T WANT TO LOOSE OUR FRIENDSHIP'? WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN IF OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS A LIE? THAT I'D GO 'THANKS FOR THAT NOW I UNDERSTAND YOU SO MUCH BETTER'?"

He'd stood up at this point and David had taken his chance to grab the phone of Blaine's bed. What, with all the large hand gestures he was doing, he hadn't been able to hold on to it. Trying to make sense of his shouted anger, David had figured he'd better keep Blaine from replying to whatever message had got him like this before he'd calmed down.

"LIKE FUCK I WOULD! YOU LIED TO ME FOR YEARS! YOU WERE ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT HONESTY AND HOW WE COULD TELL EACH OTHER ANYTHING AND IT WAS OK BUT THAT, OF COURSE, EXCLUDED YOUR LITTLE SECRET!"

Wow, Blaine never swore. Even when he broke his arm or was wound up by Wes to a point where he cracked and shouted, he still didn't swear. David was starting to realise that Blaine seemed angrier than he'd ever seen him. His anger also seemed to be part made of hurt, or at least, that's what it sounded like.

"DID YOU REALY THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE BETTER, THAT I'D FUCKING ACCEPT IT IF YOU WAITED TO TELL ME? OR WERE YOU PLANNING IN NEVER DOING SO."

Looking down at the phone David wondered who'd sent the message that had made him act like this. "I'm not snooping, I won't read it, I just want to know who hurt him this much," he told himself as he flicked through the phone to recent texts. Right at the top of the list: **Kurt Hummel :)**. Biting his lip he glanced at Blaine, who was still shouting. He'd only know Kurt for two days. How could something he'd said have had this reaction? Although Blaine was different around Kurt, he was open, happier. So it was a possibility.

"WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN? What did you think..."

Blaine's anger had left him in one huge rush and suddenly he was from standing and shouting in a rage to sitting, half collapsed, with his head in his hands, looking lost, hurt and in so much pain. Walking slowly, so as not to alarm him, David made his way over. When he was standing beside him he crouched down so that their heads where level and tried to look Blaine in the eye.

Blaine was crying. He'd assumed that Blaine's gasps had been the last remains of his shouting, but tears were wetting his hands. Between gasps he was still muttering similar lines to those he'd been shouting.

Reaching out he hugged him, trying to comfort him from whatever it was that Kurt had said. When he stepped back he pulled out his own phone and sent a quick text to Wes, who appeared soon after.

"Watch him and help him however you can. I've got to do something about Kurt."

"Kurt did this?"

"As far as I can tell."

And leaving Blaine, who didn't seem to notice, in the hands of Wes he left the room. Typing the number from Blaine's phone into his, he paused before making the call to wonder for a moment if this was the Right Thing to do.

"Hello, Kurt Hummel speaking."

"Hello, Kurt, this is David, Blaine's friend."

"Oh, hey, why are you calling? Is something wrong?"

He sounded honestly confused, but David dismissed it as good acting and went on.

"Of course he is. I've just left him a wreck due to some message you sent him. I don't care that you're having a hard time, and we expect that Blaine will never want to hear from you again. How you could justify hurting him like this? I don't know, but I find it disgusting! You should understand what he's gone through, and how much it costs him to open up to people and to ABUSE THAT is disgusting."

"D-David, I..."

"No! I don't care what you said, or what he did that, in your mind, evens it out. I'd like to know what happened but I'm not going to invade his privacy by having you tell me. Because it doesn't change the fact that you a horrid person and Blaine never wants to see you again."

"I-"

"NO, Kurt. Just go-"

He paused. Blaine had just stumbled out of his room and was staring at him as if he was crazy.

"Is that Kurt?"

"Yes, I called him. Don't worry we won't let him hurt you again."

"But Kurt didn't do-"

"I know he's told you that this is all your fault but you need to understand that-"

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KURT!"

And Blaine was angry again.

"What do you mean? He was the last person to send you a text?"

"That wasn't about a text. Look, it doesn't matter. Just let me speak to Kurt please."

With a confused glance David handed the phone to Blaine.

"Kurt? Thank god, I'm so sorry about that..."

And he sounded so relieved that David believed him instantly.

* * *

><p>Please reply.<p>

I just want to know what happens next.

Dave

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><p><em>an: YAY SHOUTING!_


	5. Chapter 4

_a/n: This one has no shouting in it. that's a good thing, right? And on we go to chapter, what are we up to?, four. Almost halfway :P . Big thanks goes to mrs. graciecriss4eva and the reviewers. because reviews and fun and happy and nice and something that I should learn to do more. because I suck at reviews. probably because I love most of what I read so I may have sort of come to expect that... and I never cry. So I feel bad reveiwing if I didn't cry and other people did. and I doubt anyone is still reading this. I natter on far too much._

_disclaimer: If I were to own Glee we'd be up to season 7 already because I would have had the hindsight to start it when they were in primary school (elementary school) so that we could all watch little Klaine grow up. And then finally meet. because we'd know they were destined to but it would still be cute. and I'd have to put in the others so that it had, you know, a PLOT. but it would be mainly plot-less Klaine._

* * *

><p>So.<p>

Wow, that was a lot to think about. I am glad that you told me because I feel hurt for every day you didn't. It tells me thst you didn't trust me and I don't understand why. But we can't change the past, so I want you to know that, of course, I still want our friendship to continue but I don't think it can go straight back to the openness of before. I trusted you completely and, to find out you didn't feel the same, messes up that trust. But I do want to help you so please tell me what happens. Preferably when it happens.

It's going to take time but I hope that we can go back to the way we were.

Blaine.

* * *

><p>Blaine had stared at his eLetter for half an hour after he finished writing it making tiny changes. All he'd really been doing, as he had known at the time, was procrastinating. Avoiding the final moment when the message would be gone and he was no longer in control. Because control, no matter how small, made him feel safer.<p>

But he'd finally sent it. And he was now going to be late to see Kurt. He was worried about what David had told him during this morning's embarrassing incident, but really he just needed to relax. And when he was with Kurt that was so much easier.

Rushing to the coffee shop, he made it just as Kurt was leaving the counter. Smiling at the extra cup in his hand that he knew was for him, he rushed over. Apologising as he sat down he was comforted by Kurt's laughter.

"You're not that late. The way you're acting you could have missed your own wedding or something."

Neither of them noticed the others slight blush as the both laughed. Simply enjoying each other's company. They discussed anything and everything, both important and trivial. But Blaine never mentioned Dave. He almost forgot about him, or at least, he pushed him to the edge of his thoughts. And Kurt seemed so happy, he didn't want to bring up topics that would erase that smile or mute that laugh, especially not selfish ones. Because they did talk about Kurt's problems. About school. And Kurt asked what David had called about. But he'd brushed it off and ignored the slight look of hurt that had flashed across Kurt's face when he did. It would, Blaine decided, be selfish to discuss his own issues; Kurt didn't need more burdens.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

**Courage**

It was the fifth of such texts Blaine had sent over the last two days since Kurt had told him of his situation at school. He didn't really know why he sent them, but whenever he wished Kurt was here, even just to brighten the atmosphere and make things less dull, he'd tried hundreds of phrasings and none had worked. So he'd just send him courage and hoped that wherever he was and whatever was happening he'd feel better. Because worked for him. And he wanted Kurt to remember that someone cared about him.

Smiling to himself he went back to the homework he'd decided to focus on this lunch period. Soon after he glanced at his phone, tired of the boring workload, to find a new message from Dave. He looked at it in confusion before typing a quick reply and packing up. He wasn't going to be able to focus until Dave's next massage cleared this up for him.

* * *

><p>I kissed him.<p>

* * *

><p><em>an: So. Guess what happens next :P_


	6. Chapter 5

_a/n: one day. one day. ONE DAY! This is so _exciting_._

_I feel bad for anyone who reads these author notes expecting to get stuff about the story. Although I doubt by this point they would._

_Thanks to mrs. graciecriss4eva for being epic and to anyone who reveiwed. You guys are all epic!_

_disclaimer: just wait... let me check... no. I still don't own Glee. The show. Because I do own the emotion. If anyone can own an emotion..._

* * *

><p>What do you mean? Who did you kiss?<p>

* * *

><p>He was in his dorm room, putting his school work away a few minutes later when he got a call from Kurt.<p>

"Hi, Kurt," he said, faking happy. He needed a distraction from Dave, again.

"Blaine, I-," there was a shuddering gasp down the phone line of someone in tears.

"Kurt," he heard the first syllable and was standing. There was something wrong; he heard it in his voice. And Kurt was crying. This was bad. This was really bad. He could see images of Kurt, beading and beaten, collapsed somewhere alone. But he was ok enough to call him so he shook that image from his mind.

"Kurt, are you physical injured?"

Another shuddering outward breath. "No."

"Where are you? Kurt I'm on my way but I need to know where you are." It was true. He'd ignored Wes's shouts about after lunch classes and dashed to his car. He was making his way to Lima, to Kurt, as fast as he could.

"I—I'm at school. I'm in my c-car." His speech was split by little gasps as his sobbed. Blaine could picture him, face ashen, gripping his phone to his ear with one hand and the steering wheel with the other, both so tightly that his knuckles were bloodless.

"Can you drive?" He was keeping the fear out of his voice; if he stayed calm, collected, focused on simple physical practicalities then it was easier to stop his emotions; to keep the fear from eating him, to push away the images that were flashing through his mind so fast, he didn't have time to explain why they couldn't have happened, but each staying there long enough to hurt. And to not go chasing who ever made Kurt like this, hurt him this badly. Because later he could do that. Right now, Kurt needed him.

"Ye—yes, I think so."

"Ok. Put the phone on speaker so you have you hands then carefully drive home." Because home was safe. And more than that, Kurt felt that home was safe.

"Ok. Ok I'm going, but you'll – you'll come?"

"Of course I will." He paused, trying to think of a way to ask, a way to ease him back. But he couldn't, so tried to sound as sympathetic and comforting as he could.

"What happened, Kurt? What did they do to get you this… this afraid?"

Kurt started talking, speeding up as he went, "I—I was at my locker, and he, Karofsky, pushed me again. And I snapped. I chased after him, I called out. And when I caught him I just shouted at him. I felt like for the first time in ages I had my voice back around him. I felt brave," Blaine flinched, remembering 'courage' and, for the first time, regretting it.

"And I was shouting, and he kept hitting the lockers and telling me not to 'push him' and I thought he was going to punch me and I DIDN'T CARE," those two words were almost shouted and he broke down again, sobbing, before he resumed his story.

"And – and," he was back to full on crying again now.

"Shhh, shhh. Hey, hey, calm down. Jus-just calm down. You should be almost home by now. I'm almost there so it's ok. Breath a bit," he knew he sounded weird but Kurt seemed to be responding, quieting down. He heard a car door slam and continued on with his soothing mutterings until Kurt seemed to be fine.

"What's wrong?"

"I—I just feel so—so dirty. And – and," he seemed lost for words and was working himself up again.

"Stop, Kurt. Breath, like I said. What happened?"

"He—he kissed me."

He couldn't stop his gasp and knew that Kurt heard it and had taken it the wrong way, but he was so shocked, this was so unexpected, that he was lost for words. He'd always thought that he could help Kurt because he'd been through similar bullying. Similar discrimination. But this. This went so far beyond that he didn't know what to say.

"I—it wasn't my fault, he was suddenly there and I was shocked and then he tried to kiss me again and I pushed him away and he left and I—I don't know what I should have done but it wasn't my-" Blaine cut him off.

"Of course it wasn't your fault. As if anyone could say it was, he forced that on you Kurt," his shock at Kurt's words had over powered his shock at the ones before them and he realised now why this was such a big deal.

"Kurt, I'm out front now, ok? I have to hang up and text David to tell him I'm missing school and to cover for me, ok? I'll be inside in a minute."

"Ok."

He left a message for David and was halfway up the drive when he noticed Dave's last message. **I kissed him**. And it was like he was joining the dots. And he knew what the picture would make now, he probably had since he noticed Kurt's call. Dave. Karofsky. Two names, but not two people. And when he got Dave's reply that evening, he knew he had got it right.

* * *

><p>Right. Yeah. I kissed the openly gay guy at my school.<p>

He finally answered back. I pushed him and then he responded. He hasn't done that since the first week. And he was shouting and pale and he said "you're not my type" and he didn't know so he didn't realise that that hurt. And suddenly the two parts of me finally agreed on something: to kiss him. There was a part of me that just really wanted it, to know what it felt like, but then there was part that hates him. It really does. And I didn't realise until I thought through why I do this and there it was. He stared out as a symbol of hope, with only a grain of jealousy. But over time it grew until I feel like telling him what a huge hypocrite he is, walking around talking about standing up for the underdog and the guy whose worse off than you when he's got a great family and strength and confidence and is safe in that fact he won't remain some small town looser. And I hate him for it. And this bitter part of me was saying "get back at him. Hurt him back."And it knew it would hurt him. And the rest of me did too.

But I did it. And the shock and fear and disgust of his face when I left, I hated myself for a moment. I felt like a monster.

But I can't apologise. I can't. How would I even begin to do that? "Hey, I'm really sorry I kissed you against your will." As if. So what can I do? And what if he outs me? I wouldn't expect anything else. It would be the best way to punish me really.

So I know we're messed up right now but I don't know what to do. I need your help.

Dave.

* * *

><p><em>an: I forgot but I've gone back and changed the format-ish-ness if the spacing between time frames in preveios chapters and it will stay like that. The way I had it worked on word but not this... so now you get:_

_°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º° _

_to diferenciate between what's a change of time frame and what's an eLetter._


	7. Chapter 6

_a/n: I'm going away! YAY! for four days... so that means no internet for four days... so no posting. Thanks to mrs. graciecriss4eva who I spamed during 3.01 and to you if you're bothering to read this now there's a new serise. Thanks to ruiniscrazy for pointing out an inconsistency with my trying-to-keep-to-cannon-ness, I've gone back and changed Dave's letter chapter 2 to fit. and now, if you havn't seen 3.01 then skip strait to the chapter..._

_***SPOILERS***_

_THE PURPLE AND THE BOWTIES AND THE DANCING... which was really weird. I'm sure he could hance better than that... AND THE FIRE AND THE GUYS BEING ALL GRUMPY-GRUMPY-GRUMPY-GRUMP-GRUMP EXCEPT KURT BEACAUSE HE WAS SO HAPPY BUT AS IF HE DIDN'T NOTICE THE LACK OF UNIFORM AND BLAINE'S SMILE WHEN KURT WAS PUTTING IT TOGETHER ok thats enough from me. as you can see I have alot of opinions of that story. BUT I THOUGHT BLAINE WAS GOING TO GET SLUSHIED? and I really wanted that to happen... even though thats mean... well, there is a whole year. AND KURTS ALL 'WE CAN'T COMPEATE' AND I'M LIKE 'YES YOU SOOOO CAN DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT I KNOW HE'LL CHANGE BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO PRESURE HIM'. yeah. ok. I'll calm down..._

_disclaimer: If I owned Glee... I would have persuaded Chord Overstreet to stay... I don't know how but I'm sure it coulld have been done... because we needed Sam in that episode... we did._

* * *

><p>There's a whole bunch of stuff wrong with that scenario, Dave. So much. And, you know, maybe you should apologies. Not care about how stupid it might make you seem or how insecure it might make you feel and just do it. Because this must be a big thing for him too.<p>

Are you still going to bully him? Because that's pretty harsh.

You need to figure out what to do. I'll help but I feel like there's no point if you don't even seem to think about what I'm saying.

Blaine.

* * *

><p>"Blaine, why are you writing on your Warbler's sheet music?"<p>

"What?" Blaine said, looking up, distracted. "Go away, I'm trying to write my English essay."

"On your sheet music?"

He glanced down.

"Oh."

Wes sighed. It had been three days since his shouting episode and two since he'd run from his room calling something about "Kurt" and "cover for me". The later texts he'd sent hadn't explained any better and he refused to talk about it. But something was up. Wes could tell. He was distracted and jumped every time he got even a text. He seemed nervous.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit... tired."

Now that was an understatement; Wes had no idea how much sleep he'd been getting these last few days but it clearly wasn't enough.

"Blaine, whats going on?" Internally he winced at his insensitive words, but he held out. If this was what it took to get Blaine to explain then so what.

"Nothing. I'm just a bit tired, it's nothing you need to worry about," his tired look was replaced instantly. "Now, I'd like to fix this essay, could you please bother something else."

Nothing was going to help right now, once Blaine closed he was gone for ages. Sighing softly he left the room.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

Blaine watched him go, feeling the sudden solitude harshly. He wanted to talk to someone. Not about what was going on, just about pointless things. The one time he wanted people to act like everything was normal and they started treating him like glass snowflake; delicate and quick to shatter.

He was lost in thought when Kurt called.

"He-" he was cut off mid greeting.

"I have to confront him. I know that it didn't work last time but I need to he needs to understand and I need to...I just need to try to understand where this is coming from and... you need to understand that I have to do this and-"

"Yes," he said cutting Kurt off this time, "Yes, yes we do-"

"We? So you'll come with me?"

He sounded releived and Blaine was halted mid thought. He hadn't meant to say we, and he hadn't meant, even in his head to go talk to him. He didn't even know what dave looked like and to meet him like this... but Kurt needed him. H cuold hear it in the tinge of fear in his voice. So that settled it.

"Of course."

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

The kiss had shocked him. He'd wanted to ditch Dave then and there because... well he didn't even know how to do it justice. But he'd told himself that maybe from the vantage point he had he could be a better friend to both of them. He could help them both to get through this. Or that's what he'd told himself.

Because really, he couldn't let Dave go. He'd been his first friend and, for years, his only friend. The openness he'd felt talking to him had given him security. He didn't want to lose that, even though sometimes it seemed like it was already lost.

So walking up a stair case at McKinley high he felt, well, nervous, but not in the way he felt he was meant to. It was like he was meeting someone he'd only ever heard about before but had always wanted too. Which was sort of like how it was. But he didn't feel the sort of nervous he should feel. The nervous centred on bullies and homophobia. Around what he now knew about Dave.

Every time he saw a jock he felt his stomach flip and a hundered questions raced through his head: "Is that him?" Will I know who he is?" "Will he know who I am?" "Do I tell him?" "What is going to happen?".

"Don't worry about it just let me do the talking."

He had no idea how he made himself sound so calm, because when some jock started coming down the stairs he felt the same jump.

"There he is."

So that's a yes to question one and a no to question two. He almost laughed at his internal stupidity.

"I've got your back."

Where did that come from? He sounded like someone from a bad spy film. But now that didn't matter because Dave was almost there and he was supposed to say something.

"Excuse me?" he mentally slapped himself.

"Hey Lady-boys."

He knew he should have expected it but somehow he'd hoped he'd get a yes to question three. So the no hurt. Even though he should have expected it.

"This you're boyfriend Kurt?"

'Wow, he used his real name' a small sarcastic voice in his head muttered.

"Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something."

"I've got to go to class."

And a shove. The first hint of physical violence. But it was the way the action took place that shocked him: casually, as if it didn't really matter to either of them. But h knew it mattered to Kurt, even though he would never let it show.

"Kurt told me what you did."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" He was a good actor. Calmly treating it like nothing was up. Like he didn't know. And Kurt cut it.

"You kissed me."

Dave responded to that. Looking around quickly to check no one heard, his "I don't know what you're talking about" was far less believable.

And he was talking again, and as he said it the thing that kept ringing was 'if you sell this right, maybe you can keep this friendship'.

But Dave was walking away, choosing to ignore them. He'd gotten to a landing when Dave snapped. Turning around he ran the few steps to Blaine and pushed him, hard, into the surrounding fence.

"Do not mess with me!"

"You have to stop this!"

And Kurt pushed him of him. It was a shock. He'd been thinking and had almost forgotten that Kurt was there. But now Dave was standing facing them, looking shocked too as his gaze flicked between them spinning around, he left. Almost running.

"Well he's not coming out anytime soon."

Because it had been than that he'd gotten it. For all he'd said online, this was his real world. And here, he was too scared to be himself. And it was like suddenly losing something, because in many ways he lost Dave.

* * *

><p>I think I was right. I think he's going to tell someone. Then I'm stuffed.<p> 


	8. Chapter 7

_a/n: So I'm back! Which means I get internet and you get a chapter. But tomorrow I go on camp, which will be EPIC, and will again have no internet. for another four days. sorry. but it' going to be so much fun so :P. but I miss Glee. so I can't watch 3.02 until I get back and have internet. *sigh*_

_disclaimer: I don't own Glee. As if anyone reading anything on this website would assume so. I mean seriously, fanfiction. It's all in the name..._

* * *

><p>I doubt he will, he doesn't sound like someone who'd try to get back at you.<p>

* * *

><p>'Wow, these just keep getting shorter,' Blaine thought to himself. But he knew it made sense: he didn't know what to say anymore. He felt like it didn't matter anyway. Dave was a lost cause. And as much as he wished that wasn't how he felt, it was.<p>

Looking up he noticed Kurt had stopped talking. They were at the Lima Bean having one of their usual afternoon catch-ups and Kurt had been telling him about his day. But now he was just looking at him concerned.

"You weren't listening," he accused, "and I know that something is seriously up when I can tell you aren't listening. What happened to stage face?"

"What?" Blaine was confused now. Kurt seemed beyond annoyed; he seemed worried.

"You know: look happy and in control through everything. It's this stage persona you put on when you sing sometimes, and you often use it normally too. I don't approve of it but I have a mask too so I can't complain. But it makes it pretty hard to not notice something's up when you forget."

"Nothing's up," he said. Inside he wondered 'how do you know me that well after under a week? And how do I get the feeling I know you just as well?'

Kurt's raised eyebrows were enough to prove he didn't believe him.

"I'm fine, ok. I just… I have to go." And with that Blaine ran away.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

'I'm not snooping, I'm just worried about him,' Kurt told himself as he made his way through the Dalton hallways a few days later.

He'd been worried about Blaine since they'd confronted Karofsky. He seemed jumpy, like he was waiting for something. And it had something to do with his phone: he checked it constantly. So Kurt was going to steal his phone for a bit (just long enough to read some of his text history) and figure out what was going on.

Reaching Blaine's room he listened quietly. Hearing no movement he snuck inside. He'd expected no one as Warbler rehearsals were on but he was he'd been right. Glancing around for the phone he finally realized the huge flaw in his plan: Blaine took it everywhere. Therefore, he would not leave it in his room. Running his hand over his face he glanced at Blaine's book shelf. He'd been shocked the first time he'd seen it. There were shelves and shelves of books, heaps more than he owned. And apparently he had more at home.

The thing that caught his eye was one book that seemed to have been shoved into place hurriedly. Blaine was carful with his books but it seemed like this one had been under the effect of his current mood. It was poking out and its pages looked rumpled. Pulling it out to return it neatly he realised that it was a scrapbook of some kind. Pages had been stuck into it, sometimes haphazardly, and were poking out slightly. It was bulging and seemed almost full. Flicking through he noticed that every page was covered with printed sheets. They were all the same format. It took another minute for him to get it – they all looked like emails of some sort.

They were dated, flicking back to the first one he saw it was from around seven years ago. The most recent only today. 'Wait, today?' he thought confused. 'Who are they from?'

Going back to the start he read aloud, "I'm Car of Sky, but my real name is Dave."

Dave Car of Sky. Dave Carofsky. Dave Karofsky.

Silently this time, he read on.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

Partway through he was about to put it away. 'Maybe this is too private,' he realised. But he had to know. He had to understand what this was about.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

He finished the one dated today and shut the book carefully. "Wow. So that's what this is all about," he said, breaking the silence that had reigned the past hour. Going to slip the book back in its place he froze as he heard Blaine's voice.

"Why on earth did you think it would be a good idea to try to persuade an all guys group to sing a High School Musical nu-"

"Kurt?" David and Wes were standing behind him, trying to see past him and the door to where Kurt was sitting. Blaine, on the other hand, was, like Kurt, frozen. His eyes on the book.

"David, can you go to Wes' room for a bit?" Silently the two left, knowing something was going on.

Kurt broke the ensuring silence, feeling an almost unjust rage.

"Why didn't you tell me?" his voice was soft but Blaine flinched at every word.

"I—I didn't know how. How was I meant to explain something like that? I thought that I could help you both separately which would help the other as well and I—I was caught. I didn't know when I met you that he was bullying you. I'd only just discovered he was a bully."

"So why not drop him then? When you found out?" he knew it wasn't fair but he felt, suddenly, a sense of betrayal.

"He was so... confused. I thought I could help him. I didn't want to abandon him." He paused and looked down, seeming disgraced. "I didn't want to lose the friendship that meant everything to me."

Now Kurt looked down. He felt as if he'd intruded on something private. Which he had. But now he really felt it.

"And I was going to tell you. I just... didn't know how! And- and it was private and why did you think it was ok to READ IT!"

Now positions had swapped. Kurt had never seen Blaine angry but now... well, now he had.

"THAT WAS LIKE A DAIRY! IT WAS A PLOT OF MY LIFE FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEARS AND-"

"AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO MENTION THAT YOU WERE BEST BUDDS WITH THE GUY MAKING MY LIFE HELL?"

"IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"

"IT DID THE SECOND YOU REALISED WHO HE WAS!"

"I NEEDED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO-"

"OH, BECAUSE THAT CHANGED WHEN YOU KNEW DID IT? YOU DECIDED IT ACCTUARYALY MEANT SOMETHING! THAT YOU MAYBE HAD TO CHOOSE! BECAUSE IF IT WAS SOME RANDOM IT WAS OK? IS THAT HOW YOU FELT?"

And in one moment, Kurt had left the room.

* * *

><p>You're angry with me aren't you.<p>

Dave


	9. Chapter 8

_a/n: I'M BACK! So, hi anyone who reads these, I'm really sorry but, after posting this I've caught up with myself. sigh. So now I have to write the last chapter/two chapters (depending on how it turns out) which is giving me grief before you get anything else. But this is a sort of happy chapter, so that makes things a bit better, right? And by the way, camp was GREAT and EPIC and AWESOME and completely not rubbish and there was pranks and epic games of epic proportions and talks and talking and singing and general FUN. And now I shall rant, only slightly because I saw it yesterday and the emotion levels have gone down slightly and I don't want to scare you, so ***SPOILERS***:_

_WHAT IS WITH KURT? HE'S STILL ALL "WE CAN'T COMPEATE" AND THIS IS GETTING OVER THE TOP, SERIOUSLY. AND THERE WAS A KLAINE CLIFF HANGER! AND I'M LIKE "YAY, they gave them their own cliff hanger" but only between shouts of "WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!" which I do know is the point of a cliff hanger but STILL. And poor Kurt. They like to mess things up for him, don't they? First Britney embarrassed him then he went with it and she ditched him and somewhere there he got sad about the roles written to suite him and he's got that CLIFF HANGER (!) with Blaine and yeah. I feel sorry for him. But the Romeo Juliette thing was a bad idea and he should have known it would be. So that is mainly his fault. although they shouldn't have laughed._

**_*END OF SPOILERS* _**_because I have something important-ish to say. It's about language/swearing because I personally don't enjoy it in stories. at all. And so I was not very willing to put it in here, but it can, and I did know this before I wrote this, help add stress to what you say in real life, and therefore what the characters say, if it is used in moderation. So if it offends you, I'm sorry, but I have tried the chapters without it and they don't mean as much. Especially because it's hard in writing to stress parts of a sentence which can be done aloud by changes in tone. No one has said anything about this so far but this is for the me-types out there who don't really like it._

_disclaimer: from my rant on my opinion of the last episode do you really think I own Glee? Although if I did I don't know if I'd change it because it was a pretty epic episode... anyway, I don't own Glee. When I do, you'll know._

* * *

><p>Dave,<p>

I'm sorry, I'm a bit busy at school right now, I don't have time to write.

Blaine.

* * *

><p>Blaine knew Dave would see through his lie and that it would hurt, but he'd heard nothing from Kurt in the week since they'd fought. He'd wanted to do something about it but as time went on he got more self-conscious and worried that Kurt had never seen their friendship as anything that mattered. So he hadn't done anything either.<p>

He was on his way to Warbler Rehearsals, late again but Wes had given up trying, when he walked into a babbling group of teenagers, around his age, who defiantly didn't go to Dalton.

"Excuse me?" he said, curious. None of these people seemed to match but they all seemed to fit together.

"Oh, high!" replied a blond girl in a cheerleading uniform. "I'm Quinn and we're looking for Blaine."

She mistook his look of shock and went on. "He's in the Dalton Glee club, the…"

"Warblers," someone called out.

"Yeah," she went on, "and we've never met him but he knows our friend, Kurt-"

"You know Kurt?"

"Duh," said the same someone from near the back.

"How's he going? Is everything OK? Why are you here? Did something hap-"

"We just need to speak to Blaine."

"Yeah, yeah that's me, is everything all right?" They looked at him, confused, for a moment, before a tall guy in jock's cloths stepped forward.

"Hi, I'm Finn, It's nice to meet you." He held out his hand, seeming to try to be polite but Blaine was too busy trying, and failing, not to think about why they were here to care.

"Why do you need to talk to me?"

They looked around, still confused by his sharp tone, but he didn't care. "We wanted to check this place out before Kurt came."

"Before Kurt WHAT?"

"Kurt's transferring."

That simple two word sentence shouldn't have shocked him like it did. He'd hoped since they'd met that Kurt would be able to come here, or anywhere he was safe really, but he'd always dismissed it as being unlikely. Too unlikely. The main reason for this was his knowledge of Kurt and his refusal to accept help. He was stubborn and Blaine had always doubted his willingness to go for help. So something big must have happened. Something even this oblivious group would notice.

"Why?"

"Well, he's been being bullied. Worse than we thought-"

"I know."

He'd meant it as a simple indication for them to more on with their story. But they took it as more.

"You KNOW?" a girl from the side, 'Mercedes' he thought, remembering the conversations he'd had with Kurt, called out walking up to him. "YOU know. YOU: some random boy he met two weeks ago. He told YO-"

"He didn't NEED to TELL me. I could SEE it! And you would have too if you hadn't looked away. All of you."

They were looking nervous now, and guilty. "So my question was not 'why is he transferring?' but 'what happened that was so bad you noticed?'"

As Mercedes stepped away, Quinn spoke up again. "Karofsky threatened to kill him."

He closed his eyes. His head was swimming. "How long ago?"

"We found out yesterday so a couple of days before then."

He was leaning against the wall and it was the only thing holding him up. Kurt hadn't told him. Kurt hadn't told him because of a little split over privacy. Trough his guilt and horror one idea stood out. "I have to see him," he whispered.

Quinn was the only one to pick up on something. "Why didn't you know already?"

He looked up. "I have to go see him."

"I'll drive you," Quinn said, sighing. Leading the way past the rest of New Directions who seemed confused, and rightly so.

"Thank you."

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

"So, why didn't you know?"

Blaine wished he could ignore her, but she'd let them have silence for the first half of the trip and she was driving him so he knew he really should reply. He just didn't feel like talking about this.

"We... we fought."

He saw her eyes narrow but she stayed quiet so he went on. "He felt I hadn't been honest with him and I felt he'd invaded my privacy and..."

"And..." she prompted.

"And I felt bad about it already and he just pointed it out and I was angry at myself and the way it had turned out and I said stuff that wasn't what I meant and... we fought."

She was quiet for a few minutes and didn't speak until they were pulling up in front of Kurt's door.

"He needs you, you know. So you better not mess this up again."

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"Kurt?"

Quinn knocked softly on the door of Kurt's basement bedroom while Blaine tried to focus. He knew that he needed to say something but he felt like whatever he'd say would mess things up more than they already were. He couldn't stand that. So he stayed quiet.

"You know you don't have to knock, Quinn," came a soft reply. Kurt sounded so... lost that Blaine scolded himself. This wasn't about him. This was about Kurt.

"But I do."

He thought he heard a small intake of breath but discarded that idea when Kurt replied with "Get out of here, Blaine," with such cool anger he took a step back. Quinn shock her head and nudged him towards the door, herself moving to the end of the corridor; Keeping them in sight but giving them some indications of privacy.

"Kurt. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry you found out like that. I'm sorry I got angry; I didn't even try to think about it from your perspective. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't trust you. Like our relationship was one way-"

"How can you think that means anything?"

"It probably shouldn't. But I do trust you. I was scared. I was trying to think of a way to tell you but I just kept putting it off. I deluded myself into thinking that what I was doing was helping you. And that bringing up things about me would be selfish. Because I was scared."

"Doesn't that prove you don't trust me? Doesn't that fear prove that?"

"I don't know. But I don't think so. Your opinion matters to me. I care about it, some would say too much, and putting a part of me out there that I didn't think deserved the high opinion you seem to have of me, that scared me. So maybe I didn't trust you to remain my friend if I told you, but I think it was more a feeling of 'if you'd known this you wouldn't have been my friend in the first place, so why should telling you now change that?'"

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

"Of course not! Do you think I don't know that-"

"Yes."

"What?"

"You don't what this feels like. You don't know how I felt when I discovered you'd hidden that entire section of your life form me. How could you?"

"Did you even read the recent messages?" he said it quietly, but full of pain at both the memory and Kurt's dismissal of it. Kurt was quiet.

"I felt betrayed. Lost. Distrusted. Abandoned. He was going on about 'don't abandon me' and somehow he didn't realise he'd already done the abandonment. I felt like saying 'none of that meant anything to you?' because it meant a damn lot to me." He was leaning against the door frame, sinking into it and giving it his weight.

"And I was angry. Because he made it all about him. And couldn't he see how much this hurt me? But that was just the thing: he couldn't. And I hope the difference between these scenarios is that I can. Or I'm trying to. So I hope you won't give up on me like I've given up on him."

Blaine stayed there, feeling as if all his strength had left him with his words, but Kurt didn't open the door. Quinn came towards him, miming knocking on the door. He just shook his head. Nodding, she stepped back. When the door did open, it was only slightly. "Quinn," Kurt whispered, "did he go?"

As she shook her head Blaine stood strait and looked at him. "I'm here."

Kurt smiled sadly before hugging him tightly, tears dripping onto the Dalton blazer.

"I'm sorry, too."

* * *

><p>And now I know you're angry with me.<p>

What do you want me to do?


	10. Chapter 9

_a/n: so this is the end. I'm literaly about to leave for the weekend so this authors not will be rushed and full of spelling errors and I won't get a chance to rance about the most recent episode but THANKYOU! thanks to everyone whose read this, big thanks to the reveiwers. Thanks to mrs. graciecriss4eva, as always, for being my epic friend and motivator. Sorry about the huge wait. Like, really big sorry for that. This was origionaly going to be posted a chapter every two days but... yeah that didn't last long... so big thanks and hears the end. I hope it works, seeing as i finnished it about three minutes ago..._

_disclaimer: are these even needed? "I do not own Glee" doesn't that get boaring after a while, I mean I KNOW no one hear owns Glee and I think you do too. Unless you're an idiot. but I doubt that._

* * *

><p>We need to talk.<p>

Properly.

Face to Face.

Blaine.

* * *

><p>Blaine looked at the door in front of him, trying to work up the courage to ring the door bell. "You have to do this. Maybe not now, but you'll have to do this sometime and, well, you're here now," he thought, trying to persuade himself that this was The Right Thing To Do. "Kurt's safe so this can't hurt him. You have to do this or everything between you will just get worse."<p>

He glanced behind him into his car where Kurt was waiting. He knew it would be too much to ask him to come but even that quick glance and the smile he gave him gave him courage. So taking a deep breath he pressed the bell.

He hears footsteps as someone came through the house. The door was opened and a rushed looking woman opened the door. She seemed to be on her way out but smiled slightly at him as said "Hello. You probably want to see Dave. He's upstairs. Wait a sec and I get him."

He tried to smile back but he wasn't sure how well he went. The woman looked over her shoulder and called out "DAVE! VISITOR!" before looking to him again.

"Wait in the living room. He'll be down shortly." And with that she walked past him to a car.

He stepped tentatively into the house and through an open door to what he assumed was the living room. He stood, watching the doorway and waiting for Dave. For what he knew would come next.

He heard him first, making his way down a flight of stairs, and then there he was, Dave.

He looked confused, staring at Blaine as if trying to work out how he knew him. When he did, when he remembered the day on the staircase, his confusion seemed to grow. "What d' you want, homo? Your little boyfriend send you?" he asked, glaring. "How'd you find my address?"

Taking another deep breath he held out his hand. "I'm Blaine Anderson. You know basically everything about me and until recently I though the same about you."

"This is some sick joke."

And that hurt. He knew that he would be hurt more over the course of this 'discussion' but that was the first. He let his hand fall loosely at his side again.

"No. I told you we have to talk."

"About what? You telling your boyfriend about me? Breaking our promise?"

"That was an accident-"

"Or what how you dropped me, in a couple of seconds, when you realized I wasn't as simple as you'd thought? When I wasn't the perfect little friend you had thought you'd confided in?"

"I tri-"

"I wasn't worth it, was I? Great contradiction to everything else you'd said. Hypocrite."

"YOU TOLD ME NOT TO ABANDON YOU AND SOMEHOW YOU DIDN'T REALISE HOW MUCH IT FELT LIKE YOU'D ABANDONED ME FIRST!"

Dave sucked in a breath seeming shocked at Blaine's outburst. Blaine continued, his voice slightly softer but still strong.

"Everything we wrote about, everything you told me and everything I told you meant so much to me. I thought it meant the same to you but you threw it away because you didn't dare to put a little faith in me. So I can't trust you anymore. I can't help this friendship. I feel like the trust we had made a rope, tying us together. But that ropes been fraying for a while now. So, instead of feeling the slap when it snaps and pulls back to hit us in the face, I'm untying my end. Ending this right now."

Somehow, as he'd spoken, they'd moved in a circle, like animals did, keeping the same distance between them. From beside the door Blaine spoke again.

"I meant everything I told you, except for any obvious little lies you've already picked, and I still mean it. Only now, it hurts."

He turned and walked to the front door, turning back when he heard Dave catch up to him. He was standing closer than Blaine had expected. Reaching forward, he made a move as if to shove him back into the door. His hands froze a few centimetres short. Blaine stared him in the eye, waiting, seeming almost to ask him a question. Slamming the wall just right of Blaine's head he spun around and almost stomped up to the stairs before Blaine said, in almost a whisper, "When you tell someone, anyone, send me a letter. I'd really like to know."

Dave snorted. "Let me guess. It 'might just fix that rope'?" he mocked, imitating Blaine's voice.

Blaine sighed. "Bye Dave."

"Go away, Anderson."

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°

Kurt started driving as soon as Blaine entered the car. When they were about a block away from the house and out of its sight he pulled over. Blaine was still silent, staring out the window.

"Blaine...?"

"I could see it hurting him. Everything I said. An-and I didn't—I didn't stop." As he said it he gave little sobbing gasps and when Kurt undid his seatbelt and reached over to give him an awkward hug tears started to fall.

"Does that make me as bad as him?" he asked, softly. "He hurt me so I hurt him back? That's not the way thing should work bu-but it still happened."

Even Kurt was surprised in the stern way he said, "If that's how you think about it then that's true."

Blaine gasped, betrayal obvious in his face, but Kurt went on, "But I think you said what needed to be said to stop this from continuing to hurt both of you and neither of you explaining to the other one why. I think that would have hurt more."

Blaine nodded but kept crying. Because now it was real, even clearer, that he'd lost Dave. Almost seven years and now he was gone. And it was at least part his fault.

So of course he kept crying.

* * *

><p>Remember?<p>

_Hello that's_not_a_name,_

_I'm Car of Sky, but my real name is Dave. I live in America but I think it would be more fun if we didn't know more than a country about where we live because I like the idea that you could be anywhere or anyone and I wouldn't know it. I also think it would be cool if all we knew about each other was stuff we told each other. I'm not going to make you tell me things you don't want to but at least could we please be truthful with each other? Always?_

_I don't know what you're going to think of this but I just get the feeling we're going to be good friends. Can we make a deal? Whatever we tell each other is a secret. We'll never tell anyone else about it, even insignificant stuff. If you disagree with this then I don't think we can be friends because that's what friends do, so there. I've always wanted a friend like this, a friend I could trust and I hope you'll become one._

_I just realized that this is a very long first letter and I haven't even told you anything about me yet. So I'd better stop now. I'll wait for you to reply. I can't wait to hear from you._

_Dave._

_Ps – what's with the name?_


End file.
